Neatly Scribbled

Today has been one of those days where everything needs done, but I have zero energy to do it. I'm going to sit back and enjoy the rest of my Monday.

In general, I am a very creative and frantic person.  I lap those two together because while being creative and working on projects I become quite frantic.  The franticity comes when things aren't coming together quite like I'd like them to and I debate giving up.  Sometimes there isn't even a debate, I just decide to scrap what I've done so far and start over, or I give up all together.  This is a part of me that I could live without. During this pregnancy, my hormones have been out of control.  I am 100 percent worse when it comes to trying to keep my cool and rolling with the punches.  I cry at the drop of a hat, or stitch and it's hard to regain my cool. I would really love to work on this but it seems almost impossible when I know how overwhelming the pregnancy hormones really are.  But, it's worth a try.  I am unable to take any medications, and if I am able to be on a low does anxiety medication I'd prefer not to be while I'm pregnant. ...

At the end of November I blogged a little bit about my bold intentions for December and I'm back ready to share a little of my progress.  We are just out of the first week of December and I am already at a point of not feeling guilty about putting my projects in front of responsibilites around the home front.  The first week, though rough, was filled with possibilities. Day 1, Kyle left for work and I poured myself a glass of iced coffee excited for the possibilities of the day.  I reverted to the couch where I started reading Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver.  Times before when sitting down to read, my mind would flood with everything aside from what I was reading.  "The dishes need done," "The laundry needs folding," and "Is that a scuff on the floor, I just mopped," were just a few of the many intrusions. This time I was able to relax and enjoy the words that flow so nicely in this book.  If you haven't read it, I highly suggest it.  Thou...

We are edging closer to Thanksgiving and the end of November.  With that said I want to make some bold intentions for december and the new year.  I have a lot of free time anymore and I feel it's going unused.  Usually I spend my day cleaning up the house, paying bills, running errands, and chores around the home.  Not a lot of it gets spent on me or what I would rather be doing instead of dishes.   I have several started crafts that have gone unfinished due to the lack of time I had.  But with this new found freedom I want to start doing a little more for me and my sanity.   Knitting, baking, sewing, reading, writing are just a few of the hobbies that I enjoy and spend little to no time doing. This month that will change.  I stand by it so much I'm blogging my intentions to bring those hobbies back to life.   My plan is the really sit down and tackle some crafts and books, and to blog about the process and the enjoyment I am bound to ...

I am 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow with a bundle of moving joy.  These first 25 weeks have been filled with many different emotions and excitement.  Weeks 1-12 were filled with a lot of nausea, a lot of emotional breakdowns due to hormones never experienced by me before, and a lot of not gaining any weight.  It wasn't the most pleasant time of my life, even though something magical was happening inside me, not just in my uterus but my heart also.  I was sick most of the time, incredibly lazy, and lost about five pounds in the first trimester.  To say that it was rough for me was an understatement to describe how bad it must have been for Kyle. Now that I have hit my second trimester and am edging closer to my third, I have gained eleven pounds total, and I am feeling greatfull and a lot more energetic.  I am finally able to smell food and eat it without running to the bathroom or trash can and I am loving that.  Apparently so is baby because after I ...

Saturday is a blessing in disguise.  My first thoughts of Saturdays were filled with anxiety and doubt.  The only day I have to myself to spend doing what I love was daunting.  I spend the weeks saying to myself “Saturday, I will write!  I will go to a quiet, darling park filled with blooms and rustling trees and I will let myself go.”  Saturday nears closer and the anxiety sets in.  “There is always next Saturday.”  Afraid I will not be up to what I want to achieve I give in and let Saturdays win.  Saturdays have no idea that they are in competition with my self esteem and that they are in the lead.   This Saturday is different.  Spent with an old friend, (years known, not age).  A birthday lunch was a treat for us because of our lack of keeping in touch.  Talks over tea and avocado sandwiches followed by antiquing was definitely my kind of Saturday afternoon, or any afternoon for that matter.  We shared stori...

I've been doing some hard thinking lately, about myself, my esteem, and my goals.  I got married one month ago yesterday, and while I am so happy to be married to my best friend I am hesitant at being a wife.  I have dreamt of the day that I became a wife for quite some time, mostly thinking I would be this wonderful house cleaner, excellent baker and chef, and the best at every thing else wives do.  I sure had all of this backwards. My self esteem has been low as have my energy levels.  The low self esteem is me telling myself that I can't do all of this.  'This' meaning dishes, dusting, sweeping, laundry, cooking, bathroom duty, and keeping my husband happy all while looking good doing it.  I tell myself and set myself up for failure before I even fill the sink with soapy water.  I convince myself I don't have what it takes to do all of the daily duties that come with being married and having a home, so I back out of them some way.  I fe...