Neatly Scribbled

My family and I took our first camping trip of 2018 this past weekend.  It was also a first camp for our son Henry, 1.  This was Eleanor's fourth time, I believe. Here are some photos from our weekend getaway.

As human beings, are we designed to want?  If so, why?  Why am I and a lot of other people I know in a constant state of WANT?  As a follower of Christ when I read Timothy I am filled with HOPE.  I am hopeful and inspired and I long for what Paul describes as contentment.   1 Timothy 6:6-11 says this,  “ But godliness with contentment is great gain.   For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.   But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.   Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” My heart goes out to the people of Houston, Texas.  This sort of tragedy is something I hope no one would have to go through.  People h...

On this journey towards simplifying, living with less and living within our means I have also taken the time to reevaluate the food we eat.  Most of our diet had consisted of eating out at least one to two days a week and then when we did eat at home it wasn't the greatest either.  Our cupboards were cluttered with snack cakes, chips, sodas, etc.  You get the point.  After having about enough of things flying out at me every time I opened the cabinet door, I decided to tackle what was on the shelves.  I started shelf by shelf clearing everything out and cleaning the debris.  I went through and got rid of expired items and also items that weren't adding anything to my family or their health.  Yes, even the snack cakes.  I went ahead and tackled the fridge from there, repeating my strategy from the cabinets. After putting the items from the keep pile back I noticed there wasn't much there.  Perfect time to make a list of what were some good s...

Lately, I have given a lot of thought on what factors are controlling my life.  I've noticed my intense drowsiness, my lack of motivation, my everyday feeling of just going through the motions and I understand that this isn't what Christ wants for me or any christian.  I asked myself if the Holy spirit was guiding my life and decisions or if I was the one doing the guiding.  My answer?  I was guiding. I wasn't satisfied with this answer because I'm striving to live my life for Christ and not for myself.  My goal?  To reevaluate what I was dedicating my time and energy to.  I started by reading Paul's letter to the church in Galatia when he discussed whether the Galatians were living of the flesh, which they were, or living by the spirit, which they and every christian needs to be. I started my journey by listing out the fruits of following the spirit and how they applied to me or how I could better obtain them in my life on a daily basis. First was...

Toward the end of July my husband and I decided to revamp our finances.  One day during the week I had a day to myself and I started looking around at all of the clutter that lie scattered around the house, and I thought to myself, "do we even use this stuff that we buy?"  The answer was irrevocably no.  I began to think of the money that was spent on this clutter that we don't use and spend our valuable time dusting.  Thousands of dollars I'm sure spent on unnecessary items that add no value to our lives, but we thought it was neat or pretty or smelled good and we spent ten to twenty dollars to take it home with us. At this point I knew we needed a drastic change in the way we viewed our money.  I began by watching Youtube videos and reading blogs.  Back in December I believe, my husband and I bought Dave Ramsey's Money Makeover book and of course it set idly on a shell gathering dust.  I grabbed the book, blew off the excess dust and cracked it ope...

So, forgive me, I'm attempting to type a blog post via iPhone in one hand and a sleeping baby in the other. Lately, I have been reflecting on my lifestyle and I've come to the conclusion that I've made some wrong choices for my body, my health, my emotional state, and my family.  I've also come to terms with needing to make some major changes on a slow but steady pace. My first goal is downsizing.  To go a little further I'm talking about minimizing, decluttering, living with less excess in my life.  The excess I am speaking of is anything from too many pairs of shoes or scarves to too many magazine subscriptions. My husband and I have donated six large garbage bags of STUFF.  That seems like quite some excess to me.  Sadly, I am no where near finished or at the place I would like to be, but I will get there. If anyone else is interested in downsizing some clutter in their own lives I definitely recommend sproutandblossom YouTube channel and her blog, as well....

In November I blogged about my bold intentions for December and in December I followed up with how I was doing on those bold intentions.   I enjoyed this process so much that I am back for another round with January quickly approaching.   I found that blogging about my intentions have helped me keep to them.   Since it’s the New Year, I’m allowing myself to jump a little further.  I am pregnant still and will be til March so I’m going to try to keep it simple since I will have a baby to look after soon.  A few of my intentions in December was to get more creative, read and write more, and do the things that I love.  I’m going to bounce some ideas off of these main intentions for January.   Keep blogging Read at least two books Walk more Take more photos Learn more about taking photos Enjoy myself I will keep you posted on these BOLD intentions.

Today has been one of those days where everything needs done, but I have zero energy to do it. I'm going to sit back and enjoy the rest of my Monday.

In general, I am a very creative and frantic person.  I lap those two together because while being creative and working on projects I become quite frantic.  The franticity comes when things aren't coming together quite like I'd like them to and I debate giving up.  Sometimes there isn't even a debate, I just decide to scrap what I've done so far and start over, or I give up all together.  This is a part of me that I could live without. During this pregnancy, my hormones have been out of control.  I am 100 percent worse when it comes to trying to keep my cool and rolling with the punches.  I cry at the drop of a hat, or stitch and it's hard to regain my cool. I would really love to work on this but it seems almost impossible when I know how overwhelming the pregnancy hormones really are.  But, it's worth a try.  I am unable to take any medications, and if I am able to be on a low does anxiety medication I'd prefer not to be while I'm pregnant. ...

At the end of November I blogged a little bit about my bold intentions for December and I'm back ready to share a little of my progress.  We are just out of the first week of December and I am already at a point of not feeling guilty about putting my projects in front of responsibilites around the home front.  The first week, though rough, was filled with possibilities. Day 1, Kyle left for work and I poured myself a glass of iced coffee excited for the possibilities of the day.  I reverted to the couch where I started reading Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver.  Times before when sitting down to read, my mind would flood with everything aside from what I was reading.  "The dishes need done," "The laundry needs folding," and "Is that a scuff on the floor, I just mopped," were just a few of the many intrusions. This time I was able to relax and enjoy the words that flow so nicely in this book.  If you haven't read it, I highly suggest it.  Thou...

We are edging closer to Thanksgiving and the end of November.  With that said I want to make some bold intentions for december and the new year.  I have a lot of free time anymore and I feel it's going unused.  Usually I spend my day cleaning up the house, paying bills, running errands, and chores around the home.  Not a lot of it gets spent on me or what I would rather be doing instead of dishes.   I have several started crafts that have gone unfinished due to the lack of time I had.  But with this new found freedom I want to start doing a little more for me and my sanity.   Knitting, baking, sewing, reading, writing are just a few of the hobbies that I enjoy and spend little to no time doing. This month that will change.  I stand by it so much I'm blogging my intentions to bring those hobbies back to life.   My plan is the really sit down and tackle some crafts and books, and to blog about the process and the enjoyment I am bound to ...

I am 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow with a bundle of moving joy.  These first 25 weeks have been filled with many different emotions and excitement.  Weeks 1-12 were filled with a lot of nausea, a lot of emotional breakdowns due to hormones never experienced by me before, and a lot of not gaining any weight.  It wasn't the most pleasant time of my life, even though something magical was happening inside me, not just in my uterus but my heart also.  I was sick most of the time, incredibly lazy, and lost about five pounds in the first trimester.  To say that it was rough for me was an understatement to describe how bad it must have been for Kyle. Now that I have hit my second trimester and am edging closer to my third, I have gained eleven pounds total, and I am feeling greatfull and a lot more energetic.  I am finally able to smell food and eat it without running to the bathroom or trash can and I am loving that.  Apparently so is baby because after I ...

Saturday is a blessing in disguise.  My first thoughts of Saturdays were filled with anxiety and doubt.  The only day I have to myself to spend doing what I love was daunting.  I spend the weeks saying to myself “Saturday, I will write!  I will go to a quiet, darling park filled with blooms and rustling trees and I will let myself go.”  Saturday nears closer and the anxiety sets in.  “There is always next Saturday.”  Afraid I will not be up to what I want to achieve I give in and let Saturdays win.  Saturdays have no idea that they are in competition with my self esteem and that they are in the lead.   This Saturday is different.  Spent with an old friend, (years known, not age).  A birthday lunch was a treat for us because of our lack of keeping in touch.  Talks over tea and avocado sandwiches followed by antiquing was definitely my kind of Saturday afternoon, or any afternoon for that matter.  We shared stori...

I've been doing some hard thinking lately, about myself, my esteem, and my goals.  I got married one month ago yesterday, and while I am so happy to be married to my best friend I am hesitant at being a wife.  I have dreamt of the day that I became a wife for quite some time, mostly thinking I would be this wonderful house cleaner, excellent baker and chef, and the best at every thing else wives do.  I sure had all of this backwards. My self esteem has been low as have my energy levels.  The low self esteem is me telling myself that I can't do all of this.  'This' meaning dishes, dusting, sweeping, laundry, cooking, bathroom duty, and keeping my husband happy all while looking good doing it.  I tell myself and set myself up for failure before I even fill the sink with soapy water.  I convince myself I don't have what it takes to do all of the daily duties that come with being married and having a home, so I back out of them some way.  I fe...

I wanted to do a quick post on what I'm up to today.  I've been seeing a lot of the rosette flower accessories and I have to say I am in love with them!  So I took today to learn how to make them.  I found that the process is super quick and easy, and the end result is adorable. I hope you enjoy this little video I made!

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.”  ―  Edith Sitwell This quote from Edith Sitwell says it all so perfectly.  Home for me has never felt the way it does now, the way it's portrayed in this quote.  It has never been comforting, or quiet, or filled with friendly hands by the fire. My current address is just that.  It's warm, it's "home-y", it's quiet when needed, cozy when needing comfort, and fun during get togethers.  My take on my home is of course my opinion, but everyone who visits loves to add in, "It's very home-y here".  I of course take in much delight after hearing those words.  Words that I've wanted to hear most of my adolescent and adult life.  Words that would have reassured me that where I was was safe and secure.  Words that I will share with my children, letting them know that they are home and they are lo...

My grasp seems weak and short.  A God seems far away, beyond reach of my weak and short grasp.  I need help and I'm going to use my blog feed to try to find that help.  I've been a believer once, it shouldn't be hard to be again, right?  Just say right!  Becoming a believer for the first time felt draining, exhausting, and daunting.  This go around it feels all of those adjectives times one hundred. I have four hours to myself daily and I am so unaware of what to fill it with that I usually set down and think of everything God never helped me with.  That's four hours of loneliness, of blaming God for not saving my parents marriage, for not making me as pretty as the other girls, for not helping me when I cried myself to sleep, and for not allowing me to be happy.  I'm done blaming and not taking responsibility.  Only I can make myself happy, only I can forgive my past experiences, and only I can live my life on the belief that God is with m...

Months of requested solitude has gotten me to this point.  The point of almost no return. Feelings of being lost and lonely are haunting me along with every worry I can manage to shove in my suitcase.  The worries deep down are pointless and taking my every breath.  Yet, that realization doesn't make it any easier to stop soaking in them. I have given up my Bible, given up my friends in some ways, my family in others.  I have tried my hardest to push my boyfriend away, to avoid the pain of fighting, arguing, loving, and letting go.  Scared is the main reaction to everything that happens these days.  Scared to lose people, to make the wrong decisions, to turn left when I should have turned right.  I have let my faith go in most aspects and knowing this hurts more than any of the fighting or letting go ever could.  It also causes a more stubborn attitude to the idea of anyone being out there to help me. I have been in my new home for five nights...

Just recently I donated ten inches of my hair to locks of love and it was a rejuvenating feeling.  The rejuvenating feeling, sadly, lasted until I got home and showed my boyfriend.  He said he loved it but I, of course, was still focused on the fact that ten inches of the only part that was ever complimented, belonging to me, was gone. The tears then began to fall and every couple of days since then the tears come suddenly and unexpactantly.  Most of you are probably thinking, "It's only hair. It will grow back."  But my hair was so much more to me.  It was a security, a cloak to hide from all of my other insecurities and to also hide them from others.  I must say I did quite the job of hiding this broken inside with my long locks.  When my hair was longer, it was so much easier to fix it and put on a smile to convince myself and others that everything was perfectly fine.  I stayed in hiding under that hair.  After...

Today was spent with family to celebrate a birthday.  The weather was perfect, not too cool, not too hot.  Just right.  There was good food, good conversation, and love shared.  Days like today make me feel on top of the world since I don't see my family on a regular basis.  As the leaves fell outside I started to contemplate the heavens, as I so often do.  But, as of lately my contemplations have been against anything ethereal and more for the opposite, which hasn't happened since I started believing in a greater presence, a God, if you will.  I have sadly stopped reading my Bible, stopped listening when people begin to talk about a religion, and stopped praying that something would change, to make me more open to the idea.  But today, whether it was the company of my family, the weather outside, or the mood of my soul, got me thinking about the world as if someone was controlling it.  That feeling was short, but beautiful, and has op...